When @#$% gets real

I go to bed early and I wake up before the sun rises.  I have generally worked out for an hour or two before most people have hit snooze on their alarm.  I eat whole foods, no lactose, lean proteins, antioxidants.  I have low body fat, an amazing heart rate and blood pressure.  My blood work is top notch.  I don't drink, don't smoke.  I am healthy.  I am probably one of the healthiest people I know.  I work hard at it every day.  Yet, after an abnormal PAP smear and three painful biopsies, I am the one with cervical cancer.  I am the one going in for emergency surgery to attempt to save my reproductive organs because as my doctor said, "You are so young."  I am the one who will have to endure a 6 week recovery where I am not able to any of the things I love.  Why me?  Well, hey, life's not fair.

I got the news in Ross, shopping for Christmas gifts.  I am sure I turned white, and it's possible I threw up but I can't remember.  As I made my way to the car to talk to the doctor, I just couldn't believe he was talking about me.  And I couldn't believe it was so bad.  After the initial shock, I think I was taking it pretty well.  Jeff came home and we talked about it.  I kept thinking to myself, "Man, you are such a trooper.  Look at you holding it all together so nicely."  But the thing is, sometimes it's really easy to stomach something until you think about what you are facing.  And when you start talking about it and realizing that this is actually happening, to YOU, shit gets real.  And so, I lost it.  I cried about the fact that I had cancer.  And why me?  Why do I have to go through this?  I don't want to go under anesthesia.  I don't want to have a six week recovery.  I don't want any part of this.  This shouldn't be happening to me.  In fact, I hate every single part of this.  And. No. Thanks.

I came to my senses a couple days later.  The fact is this is happening.  To me.  Right now.  I will have to go through surgery January 4th and then I will have to endure a six week recovery of no working out.  Well, that's like telling someone to wake up and not breathe.  Sure, it could be worse, but it could be a lot better.  But, this is my reality.  And whether or not I like it, it's going down.  Post-meltdown, I am looking forward in a positive direction.  I guess I could be super bummed and sit here and wallow, but that's just not me.  All the "what-ifs" and "why-mes" really don't matter at the end of the day.  But what does matter at the end of the day is my attitude about what I must face.  I can't control that I have an early stage of cervical cancer.  I can control how I deal with it.  This isn't who I am, it's just another speedbump.  Okay, maybe a hurdle.  Life goes on. 

Life is a journey.  This is mine.  I know in all of this, I will learn something about myself.  I will be stronger for it.  The mindset that I use for my triathlons will be the same mindset I use to get through this challenge.  I've never been one to back down from a challenge.  And this is no exception.  Bring it.       

A triathlete is...

Just admit it.  You have stereotyped someone.  Maybe you have even stereotyped me.  I'm okay with that.  I just hope you got it right.

When I first started doing triathlons, I did not consider myself a triathlete.  Because, of course, you have to understand, I could not live up to what I believed a triathlete to be.  Let me paint you a picture of what I believed a triathlete to be.  It's possible you share my outlook...

A triathlete is very type "A."  They are an over-achiever, and won't settle for anything less than perfection.  A triathlete wakes up at 3:30am, has a very strong cup of espresso(imported from some foreign country of course) and grabs a banana, while also juggling the act of packing a swim bag and shaving.  They drive to their local pool and jump in to 55 degree water in a speedo and swim for about 3 hours.  All while looking intense.  After that "easy" swim they drive to their corporate job and do fancy executive things for 8 hours.  Think: lots of phone calls on a bluetooth, work lunches, and technical terms, luxury cars.  After work, they go for a 4 hour bike ride on a very intimidating, yet aerodynamic triathlon bike.  Again, remember, they look intense the whole time, and they never have fun.  What is a smile?  They eat a well-balanced dinner of lean meat, whole grains and veggies.  No alcohol, no sweets, no gluten, no sugar, no lactose, no fun.  When race day comes, the typical triathlete puts on their fiercest scowl and intense look and shows up early to set up their transition area.  They look only at their friends with equally intimidating and fierce looks.  If you don't wear the same kit as them, don't even bother to look in their direction.  You are not part of the pack.  Don't ask questions.  Don't talk.  And don't you DARE have any fun out their on the course.  Triathletes are there to win.  And be aero.  And fierce.  But never friendly.  Go get your medal.  You better be on the podium.  And then I became a triathlete.  And this is what I learned...

A triathlete can be all of the things above.  And to tell you the truth, I can fit in to the stereotype of many of those things.  But above all of those things, a triathlete is just a human who wants to push their limits and they want to LIVE.  They want to go through this "process" of triathlon and learn new things about themselves.  They want to work hard, train hard, and have fun.  On race day, they want to set a new record, not to prove that they are better than anyone, but to prove that they have bettered themselves.  A triathlete laughs, and most of them have pretty awesome personalities.  Some of my funniest conversations have been with triathletes.  A triathlete is a loving mom, whose first priority is her children, but this might be her outlet.  A triathlete is a poor college student who is looking to have some fun in the midst of all of the studying.  A triathlete drinks occasionally.  They have cookies, or 5.  They go out and have fun.  They eat poorly at times.  A triathlete could be your mom, sister, boss, friend.  But above all of it, a triathlete is just human.  Just like you.  And me.  And, hey, I'm not really all that bad.  Right?

Learning to bend

I woke up at 6:00am this Sunday excited to get out on a run.  I had a plan and was anxious to get on the road.  You see, when I was younger , I just went out and ran and that was enough.  Now, I need a plan if I want to see any results.  Looking back, the only thing I miss about being younger was my ability to just run with no plan and not get injured.  But those days are over.  While my mind would love to run all day, my body has other ideas.  I have battled injuries for years due to running.  But if you know me, you know I would never consider giving it up.  I'm just learning to bend...

It's now 7:00 am and I am at Lake Murray to run according to plan.  I have my compression socks on, my GPS watch, and my iPod.  I am ready to do this!!  The plan is to warm up for about 5-10 minutes and then do 20 minutes at a 7:00 to 7:30/mile pace, and then cool down.  The plan wasn't a long run like I have been doing, but instead to build my confidence going in to my next triathlon with a short amount of tempo work.  Tunnel of Love by Bruce Springsteen starts to play and I am off on my warm up.  Here we go! 

Hello??  Legs?  Are you there?  Please move!!  No such luck.  I think I must have gained about 30 pounds, but just in my legs.  Over night.  Okay.  Maybe not.  But that's how it felt.  And this was just the warm up.  Oh no.  And, my GPS watch has decided to die meaning I won't know my pace.  When you start out a run like this a few things go through my mind.  It is basically a downward spiral.  First I think, "Oh no, am I going to be able to do this?"  Then I think, "If I do this, am I going to injure myself because my legs are already fatigued?"  Then, "If I injure myself, what if I can't ever race again?"  and finally, "What if I was never able to race again?"  I tend to be very dramatic for very small portions of time when it comes to triathlon and the thought of losing it.  It lasts about .5 seconds, but that's enough to create a mental block.  So where do I go from here?  I could just turn around and call it a day.  But as Katy Perry says, "This is the part of me, that you're never going to take away from me."  My legs are fatigued, but my soul is not broken, so we are still here to work.  I just need to learn to bend.

Like a tree must bend in order to not break, so must we, as athletes.  And I am learning to bend.  I couldn't change the fact that my legs were fatigued, but  I could bend.  I did a longer run, but at a slower, comfortable pace.  I kept my mind right and I never thought I had failed because I didn't stick to my plan.  You have to learn to bend.  Sometimes you show up and everything goes as planned.  You do your speedwork or your hill repeats or your swim drills.  But, life happens.  And when it does, I am glad I have learned to bend.  Because when you bend, you won't break.

Tri Rock 2012

Tri Rock is one of my favorite races.  There is so much energy at this race.  You show up early and you hear a band playing and you just think, "I am a triathlete, and this is just wonderful."  I have done this race before and I was really looking forward to meeting up with my friend Davina and sharing in this madness of triathlon.  This is really the one triathlon that I do for fun, and not for a place on the podium.  So I was super-pumped to just soak it all up.  No pressure, just fun.

I get nervous before I get in to the water.  I wonder about my goggles leaking or not having a good swim, or getting whacked in the head.  I even think totally unreasonable things like, "What if I don't make it through the swim?"  So...I talk.  I talk to anyone standing next to me.  I will talk about anything, just to silence these little voices in my head filling my mind with doubt.  There just can't be any room for that when you race.  That day was so hot and all I wanted to do was get in the water.  And by the time we entered the water, I just wanted to stay in it!  No such luck.  The gun went off and by the time I felt comfortable, I was out of the swim and on to the bike.  That's what happens when you are training at longer distances.  You swim 500 meters and it's just your warm-up.

The bike course was much better this year.  No train tracks.  If you remember(I do), I fell off my bike last year over these stupid train tracks and it really messed up my whole race.  This year was better, but still not my favorite course.  There was a lot of turning and maneuvering.  And it was hot!  Did I mention it was hot??  But the bike went well and then I was off to the run.  Oh...the run.  I was done by mile one.  It was probably over 95 degrees and I was just not able to get my breathing and heart rate under control.  There was actually a point where I thought maybe I would have a heart attack.  Luckily, that didn't happen.  But I guess there is your proof that I truly give it all!  I finished strong and I was proud of my race because I had given everything I could have given.

I ended up placing third in my age division which is great especially considering I had so much fun.  And the thing that really made me bubble over with excitement is that I qualified for the USA Triathlon Age Division National Championships!  ME!!!  Now, along with Ironman I will be competing with the best of the best next year on a national level.

It's races like these that I look back on when things get tough.  When I don't want to train I think back at what I have accomplished.  None of this just "happened."  I had to work hard for it.  I made sacrifices, but when I see these accomplishments, it is all worth it.  Every bead of sweat, every sore muscle, every early morning, every penny....I wouldn't trade any of it.

Limitless

I can run a 5k, because it exists and I know people who have done them.  I can run a 22k, because once I got lost and ended up running 13.1 miles.  So, I know I am capable of that.  My friend Kevin bailed on a triathlon and talked me in to doing it.  I showed up and won.  I am capable of that.  I am training for an Ironman and I know that I am capable of this because, well, I decided that I am.
Our lives are limitless, if we choose to view it that way.  If you can imagine it, is is possible.  The word impossible is really just a way of saying, "I am not strong enough."  I would like to think that I live a life with out limits.  Once I have conquered one thing, and the limit has been pushed, I change the limit.  Because what is life if it's stagnant?  What would happen if everything was mediocre?  What if you raced that same race, with the same effort and same result as the many before?  Would you settle for that?
As we go through our lives and we challenge ourselves, we test our limits.  We discover that it wasn't impossible.  Rather, it was just another one of life's little tests.  We overcome and we redefine "limit."  We find that we never really had a limit, because our lives are limitless.

What's yours?

Last Sunday, I headed off to Mission Trails for a run with one of my Hi-Tech Bikes teammates.  Of course, he is an awesome runner and I am well, less awesome(injury involved).  The first time we headed off on a run, I let him know that I might not be able to push it because of my strained tendon in my foot.  He was understanding and I ended up doing pretty well considering.  So, last Sunday I showed up and I let him know that I was still congested from a cold I had a week ago.  And he looks at me and asks in all honesty, "Is that your excuse today?"  A fire built up inside me and I had a great run, knowing that my excuse didn't matter.  At all. 
We all head to our runs, rides, swims, gym work outs with an excuse in mind.  Don't lie.  You have one.  Mine tend to vary.  I like to mix it up, I guess.  Right now I go from a hurt foot, to being fatigued, working too much, that time of the month, no energy, no time, I'll give more tomorrow.  My training suffers because of my excuses.  I am so glad that my teammate asked me this question.  "Is that your excuse today?"  Since he asked me that, I have shown up with no excuses.  Not one. 
So, I challenge you to admit your excuse.  Conquer it and kick it out of your life.  The more time and effort you spend allowing your excuse to win, the less time you will spend training.  What is your excuse today?  And to that I say, "What excuse?  I have no excuse!"

One of "those" people...

I am one of THOSE people.  One of the people who would love to be a professional student.  Most people think this is a strange thing, unless you are one of "those" people as well.  For me, school was so much fun.  Fun, as in, I loved to learn and then learn even more.  Once you learned one thing, you had so many other things to learn.  It's never-ending!  And you would learn whatever was being taught and then you would be tested.  And I loved to be tested.  Because I loved to get a perfect score.  And a perfect score was totally in reach!  You could put in the hours and effort studying to show up on test day and pass with flying colors.  When you received your test back with a big, fat "A+" the pride inside you would just fill you up to the brim.  You couldn't wait to get home to show your family so they could share in your pride.  But, maybe that's just because I am one of "those" people.
Fast forward to today, where I am forced to work for money and not a grade.  Not ideal, but it's the real world.  So, instead of challenging my mind, I challenge my body.  I now work for a win, a personal record, or some other type of physical challenge.  I am still one of "those" people, but now in the physical sense.  Works for me.  People tend to question me on a regular basis or express concern in what I do.  Some people don't understand why I would go to the lengths that I go to.  Well, just as I worked so hard for that high grade, I now work for that physical best.  And just like I ran home with my best grade in hand, I now run home with my medal in hand full of pride and joy, just waiting to share it with my family and friends.
For me, it's about hard work and the results that hard work gets you.  It's about pushing your boundaries and proving that the world is truly limitless if you choose to view it that way.  So, whether you are working out your body or your mind, do it the max.  Go for the glory.  Go for the A+, the win, the personal best.  And just like when you were in school, the result is up to you.  You get out of your life what you put in.  And, to that I say...I'll work for an A+ any day!! 

When opportunity knocks...

They say when one door closes, another one opens.  But sometimes we look so long at that closed door, that we fail to see the other door.  And that door happens to be an opportunity.  When I hurt my foot I was so bummed out.  For a week I just wondered what I could possibly do to replace my running.  Running has always been my release, my positive outlet for anxiety and stress.  Basically, running was my happiness.  And then it was gone.  Just like that. 
So for a week I looked back and I mourned.  I stared at the closed door.  Maybe I was hoping it might somehow open if I stared long enough.  Or maybe I was just so shocked that it could be gone just like that.  But at the end of that week I knew I had to start looking elsewhere.  If a door is closed, that just means somewhere there is a door just waiting to be opened.  I showed up at the gym today at noon to begin boxing again.  Boxing is my new door.  It's not a replacement, it's an opportunity to excel at something else.  And...it felt so good to box again! 

I hope that in your life you choose to let a shut door be just that, shut.  Let it be seen as an opportunity.  Let it be the beginning of a new chapter, not the end of one.  Don't stare so long at that shut door that you miss out on the beginning of something wonderful. 

It's not about the bike...

When I decided to do my first triathlon, I finally took my bike out of the garage and set out to learn to ride it...with out falling off, mind you.  It was a Dave Scott Centurion, circa 1989, with an aluminum frame and downtube shifters.  It was red, white and blue, with a small amount of yellow.  In it's time, it was one of the best bikes you could own.  But fast forward to the 2000s and it was way out dated.  But, it's what I had so I learned to ride it.  Since I was very uncomfortable reaching down to my frame to switch gears, I learned to ride on a hard gear, and that made me a very strong rider.  I never switched to a small gear...I just made it work.  The only other option was to reach down and chance a crash.  No thanks.  I won my first triathlon on that bike.  Yes, that 1989 outdated bike.  While everyone else had these fancy carbon bikes worth more than my life, I had this 1989 Centurion.  And I won.  And I continued to win.
Showing up to a transition area with the oldest bike was embarrassing.  The bikes I was racked next to were so light they literally blew in the wind.  They looked mean and fast...and expensive.  And I would get comments on my "vintage" bike or my "classic" Centurion.  No one took me seriously.  I was the girl with the old bike.  But soon I was the girl with the old bike...who would blow you away on the bike leg.  Eventually, I was good enough to be sponsored by a bike team and I am now the girl with the fast, mean, carbon, expensive bike.  But deep down I know my roots and I know that it's not about what you have.  It's what you DO with what you have.
In athletics, it is easy to look around and be intimidated by those around you with the fancy work out clothes, a $10,000 bike, a million pairs of shoes, gadgets and gizmos.  Keep in mind that at the end of the day, it's not what you ride, or what you wear on your feet or your body that will matter.  It is what you hold in your heart that will get you through.  Sure, compression helps, heart rate is helpful, a nice bike is nice, and a great pair of running shoes can power you up.  But, the one who wins the race will still always be the one who worked the hardest, and had the most heart.  It's what is in your heart.

The tragedy of life...

My grandma(Gammy) had a saying posted on a mirror in her house that read, "The tragedy of life is not in the fact of death, but in what dies inside of you while you are still living."  It came from one of those "Quote-A-Day" calendars and was faded and taped carelessly to the mirror, but even so, I read it every time I visited her.  I really didn't understand it much when I was young.  As a young child, tragedy is not generally something that you can wrap your little mind around properly.  When I was six, a tragedy would be not getting to go outside and play with my best friend.  But I managed to file the quote away and ponder it's true meaning as I grew up.
My Gammy died and I felt broken.  We all went to gather the rest of her remains from her house and I spotted that quote, still in the same place it had been for 20 years.  I took it down carefully and brought it home to finally figure out what this little quote that had been so important to my Gammy, truly meant.  Here's what it means to me, and what has been with me for so long...
Dying isn't a tragedy in itself.  People die, for all sorts of reasons, and it's sad but it's a fact of life.  The fact is, we will all die someday.  Dying is not the sad part, but to die and never truly lived, is a tragedy.  So, live every day to it's fullest.  Do things that make you feel happy.  Live a little.  Don't spend time focusing on the negatives.  Instead, choose to let those things go quickly so you might move on to something positive.  If you hate running, don't run because you think you should to stay fit.  If you hate eating certain fruits, don't eat them because you think you should.  Find something you love and welcome it in to your life with a passion a dedication.  Find a fruit that you enjoy and eat it!  You get my drift?  Don't save your best bottle of wine for a special occasion.  TODAY is a special occasion!  Wear your favorite perfume, not because it's a certain day that is supposedly better than another, wear it today...because TODAY is a better day if you want it to be!  And that nice jewelry?  Wear it with your jeans.  Why not?
My life will not end in tragedy, because I have chosen to live every day to it's fullest.  And if I did happen to die this very day, I would be so glad that I pursued my fitness goals to their fullest, I raced my little butt off and won, I spent time with my loved ones, wore my favorite perfume just because, opened wine for no "special" reason, and wore my diamonds with my scrubs.  Hey...you are only promised today.  What will YOU do with it? 
 

You wouldn't listen, would you?

When I was a teenager, I knew everything. There was no use in telling me anything, or giving me advice.  So what if you had lived decades before me and had valuable life lessons.  I had it all figured out. It was a really bad attitude to have and I could have learned a lot from others had I only listened.
Fast forward to today. No longer a teenager, no longer believing that I know everything. Now, a competitive triathlete and pouring my heart and soul in to getting better with every training session. As an athlete, you get used to pains. You get used to icing, heating, elevating, compressing, medicating. Your body tells you things by showing pain. STOP. You should not go on. Do not pass go or collect $200. STOP. Again, stop. Please....stop. But do we listen? I don't. I push through it and tell myself that it's minor and will be better tomorrow. It's worked in the past, but now I am nursing an injury that has been going on for weeks and isn't promising to get better. My body warned me, but I didn't listen. This injury could potentially take me out for the season if it doesn't get better soon.
Hind sight is 20/20 and I know I should have listened at the first warning sign, but I took advantage and thought I knew better than my body did. Boy, was I wrong!
We expect our bodies to be super heroes, but then we don't listen when they tell us they need a break. Hey, even Superman took some time off here and there. To be an athlete means to encompass every part of it, and a valuable and very important part of it is recovering properly and resting when your body needs it. Listen to your body. It is wise beyond your own years and has a thing or two it can teach you...if you could just stop being a teenager and listen!   

Count on you

My dad is always on time. Always. I would be willing to bet he has never once in his adult life been late to anything. Ever. Growing up I learned that this is a matter of respect and dependability. If you say you will do something, you do it. If you say you will be somewhere you show up early. I've taken this lesson with me in so many different aspects. Of course, I took it with me in my professional life and I took it with me in my social life. But it wasn't until recently that I realized I took it with me when it came to training.
I'm no better than you. I have days when I don't feel like running, swimming, cycling, teaching or even just waking up. Hey, it happens! I'm human. But if I say I am going to train, then I do. Because I need to be able to count on ME. I know now that if I say I will go swimming, I will. I will show up to that pool and do what I said I would do.
At work, people count on you to be there and do your job well, so you do. At life, people expect you to keep your plans and show up to events that have been scheduled, so you do. When your hubby asks you to please pick up something for dinner, you do. Why? Because you said you would. So, why don't you start counting on yourself a little more to do what you promised yourself you would do? You don't make excuses to your place of work, your friends or your family. But you make excuses for yourself. Stop it.
Sure, I have a coach(thanks, Jeff!) who looks after me and helps train me. But, at the end of the day, I am the only person I answer to in regards to my training. I won't disappoint anyone but myself. At the end of the day, I need to know that I was dependable and respectful, not just to others...but to myself.

Race morning

It's hard to explain race morning. A mix of nerves, excitement, anxiety, fear and delight. If you've experienced a race morning, you know. Triathlons have 3 events you are planning for which makes it extra stressful. You have to get there super early to make sure you get a spot in transition and set everything up just the way you like it. Then, it's off to body marking where you stand in line to get your number "tattooed" on with Sharpie. Somewhere in the midst of this, you have to pee like 500 times. As you leave transition for the last time, you are just hoping that you left everything you needed at your transition area. As you make your way to the swim start, you need to make sure you are prepared with wetsuit, goggles and swim cap before your wave goes off. Before your swim, you are already fast-forwarding to the bike and then the run. You start coming up with weird scenarios like, "What if I get stuck in sea weed? What if some girl drags me under water? What if I trip and fall as I get out? What if I don't make it? What if I barf?" Oh, race morning.
When I first started doing triathlons, I was looking forward to a calm and casual race morning where everything went smoothly and I wasn't a big ball of emotions. As time goes on, I am more confident with my racing and I have learned exactly what I need to pack. I even have a CD with my motivational music. But every race morning, I am still a ball of emotions ranging from elation to utter fear. I decided if I ever show up on a race morning and I am calm and casual and I really have no emotions about it, that will be my last triathlon. Race morning is what makes it real. It makes me realize that I care and that's why I feel these things. And if I don't care, then I'll hang up my wetsuit, my cleats and my Zoots. For now, I look forward to my race mornings.

Can I borrow some hours?

As I went through my schedule last night and then looked at the things I still needed to add to the schedule I realized a couple things. One, I need a new scheduler because it runs out in March and two, I need more hours and days on said schedule.
I generally like to keep myself busy, but I always schedule myself in. I have been doing it for years. I know myself and I know that unless I get a few hours alone in a week, I will lose it. I will openly admit that. There will probably be a mini-meltdown should I not get some time to breathe, reflect and plan.
January is already proving to be a challenge. Every week has been full so far and then I find out I have so many more things to add to it! Now that I am sponsored I have to take in to account the days the team practices and I am contractually bound to attend practice. Of course the practices fall on a Thursday, when I teach, and a Sunday when I will have puppy class. AHHHH!! I should have asked Santa for more hours in a day.
This is why I schedule in time for myself. This afternoon I will get a couple hours to myself and I will be able to figure this all out and come up with a plan. Life will always get overwhelming at times, but if I can sit down, breathe and make a plan at least I will avoid previously mentioned mini-meltdown ;) And I will remember that it will all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Why not LIVE?

I was never the person who thought that bad things couldn't happen to me. Much the opposite, actually. There are times when I worry that I might lose my health, my family or friends, etc. But on the opposite side of that I also believe that wonderful things can happen to me. Hey, I could win the lottery(if I ever played). Why NOT me?
This theme resonates in to my daily life. And I am very glad because it gives every day as sense of worth. I hear people complain all day that they "have to" work out. They "have to" eat well. They "have to" do all these things that make it sound like their life is really just one big chore. I won't be that person. I make an effort every day to not be that person and here is why...
I know many people who can not physically do what I do every day. Jeff's dad had ALS and I am willing to bet he would have given anything to be able to walk to the mailbox. I have friends and family who have or have had cancer. They are fighting for their lives. They are working on surviving while we complain about not getting to eat another slice of pie. My mom loved to run and she sustained an injury that will no longer allow her to feel that feeling of total peace and freedom that running brings. Of course, there are so many more. You know these people. They are friends and family and neighbors and co-workers.
You get to live once and you have a new opportunity every single day to make it count. Don't waste it. If today was your last day, would you be proud of who you were? If you are able to get up and swim, bike, run, play...you don't have to...but why wouldn't you?? Why NOT live a little!

Food for thought

Food is a hot topic for me. I don't believe in diets and I never will. A diet will work temporarily, but if you can't do it for the rest of your life, don't do it! I don't diet and I don't deprive myself. I FUEL my body. People should think of calories as fuel rather than some number with no meaning. Here's the deal...I know if I eat crappy food(think fast food, lots of sugar and empty calories) then my body will perform accordingly. I am not saying this because I think it's true. I know it's true. I have attempted to fuel with cookies(no joke) before a training ride. I performed awfully. I have fueled with many different things to see what my body responds to. The verdict is in...it responds to lean protein, fruits and veggies and good old carbohydrates. If I drink alcohol, I know the next day will be a struggle for me. I have learned that it is better for me to eat clean than to try and struggle through training. Have you ever had to swim, bike or run for hours and you felt lethargic, achey and grumpy? Yeah, it is no fun.
I have been asked, "Do you ever eat sweets?" Ha!!  Of course I do! But I try to eat one or two, not an entire box, batch or bag. I'm not going to say no to a home baked cookie, my friend, but the key is to then adjust accordingly. You have a huge lunch, then eat a small dinner. You have a few extra cookies at work, then come home and don't have another dessert. Don't deprive yourself, but don't over-indulge every day. Simple.
One thing that gets me is high protein, no carbs diets. What is your bodies main fuel source? I can tell you right now it doesn't go, "Moooo!" And your body isn't made to digest a ton of protein. On average, your body digests about 10 grams of protein at a time. If you eat too much protein your body will store the extra as fat. On top of that, too many calories is too many calories be it protein or carbs. I encourage people to balance it out. What would a car do with no fuel? Your body needs protein, carbs and, fats(healthy). Play with it as you like, but make sure you are getting about 60% carbs, 20% protein and 20% fats.
Food is fun and it is one of the things that brings me great joy. It is possible to eat well and enjoy your food. It is up to you to decide what makes you happy when it comes to food. If you hate eggplant, then don't eat it. If turkey isn't your thing, then skip turkey. Don't force yourself to eat things just because someone said they were good for you. Do your research! There are so many options out there, that eventually you will find things you enjoy that are also good for you. You will be amazed at how your body appreciates it!

Back on the BUGG

Watch out, world!  I'm back on the Body Bugg! Have you heard of this device? It helps you track your calories in and out. I am a huge  fan because it takes the guess work out of losing weight. You simply wear this little device and it tracks your calories all day long. Then, you come home at night and upload them to your computer. While doing this, you add in what you have eaten for the day. Simple math will let you know whether you are in a defecit(losing weight) or a surplus(gaining weight). When I first put the Body Bugg on, I was blown away at what I was consuming versus what I was burning. Let's just say it keeps you honest! 800 calories of rice...ooops!
I am putting the Bugg back on to hold myself accountable. The Bugg can help you with any goal you have. I have known people who use it to gain weight, lose weight, maintain weight, improve performance or increase lean muscle mass. Whatever the goal, the Bugg helps you get there. And it's FUN! It ends up being a game you get to play every day and it helps you learn to make your own healthy decisions.
So, here I go. Back on the Bugg. I got a cool zebra print band so I can look extra stylish while acheiving my goals. I plan on losing a couple pounds. Sometimes being a loser is a good thing!

The long road to a dream

I grew up in the days of Mark Allen and Dave Scott. I would hear about these men and this crazy race called Ironman. It didn't have much meaning to me until recently. Basically, Ironman is the ultimate triathlon. If you are an Ironman(or woman) their is a certain respect and admiration you get in the triathlon community. See, Ironman isn't JUST a race, it is a life changing event. An experience not quickly forgotten. And it's not a weekend race you show up and just do. You train for years to get there. You take it on as a part-time job. You commit. And, if you are lucky enough, you finish.
After I did a few shorter triathlons, I started watching Ironman on TV. Everyone has a story whether it's cancer, a double amputee, a professional, a nun, or your every day triathlete. Every athlete has a story. And you watch the Ironman and you cry and you see their stories play out. You feel like you know them and you bleed with them as they try so hard to make a dream come true. For some, all the time spent training is enough. For others, they fall short and the dream is gone. They fall on the ground like they have nothing left and they never will. And I cry for them. I still watch and cry for these athletes. I root for them to come back and try again the next year, and I invest in them. I truly want them to cross that finish line. The best sound is when the announcer says, "YOU are an Ironman!"
I want to be an Ironman. I want to be one of those stories. A regular girl, with a regular life wants to acheive the impossible. And so here I am about to start my journey. Ironman isn't a race you just enter and then show up at. You have to really plan for it. I am planning to do Ironman Arizona in 2013. It seems so far away, but it really isn't. I might be in good shape, but I am nowhere near Ironman shape. The training starts now. Slowly and surely I will tackle this and in 2013 the announcer will say, "Denice...YOU are an Ironman!" I will be totally spent after swimming 2.4 miles, cycling 112 miles and completing a marathon in one day. I might be that person that kisses the ground or falls down due to exhaustion. It's possible that I will cry out with joy and disbelief or jump up and down completely giddy. I don't know how I will react. But I DO know, I will finally be an Ironman.

Are you crazy?

I do get this question on a regular basis..."Are you crazy? Why would you subject yourself to this?" Maybe I am crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. And what I might view as crazy could be normal for another. Take natural child birth. To me, that is crazy. Or a night of drinking followed by a massive hangover. Crazy. Extreme couponing. Crazy. So, while these things might be normal to some, they are crazy to others. It's all in the perspective. To me, triathlon has become a way of life. I choose to live my life this way because I get something really great out of it. I choose to train almost every day. I choose to spend money and time on getting better and growing in the sport. I chose to eat well(mostly) because I know it is fuel for my body. And, then, when I show up at a race and do well I am so proud that I have chosen this lifestyle. I don't feel like I miss out on anything because of triathlons. If anything, I feel like my life is much more full than it used to be. I have a sense of purpose and I have goals that I strive to reach on a daily basis. I am able to teach others how to do triathlons and support them on their journey. I am able to look in the mirror and know that each day I am closer and closer to accomplishing the things I set out to do. I can progress and see how far I've come in this sport. So, is that crazy? I guess you can decide for yourself.

How it all started...

I wasn't born a triathlete. I never even thought about becoming one. I grew up going to triathlons to watch my parents, aunts and uncles participate in them. For me, it was another day to play with my cousins and spend time out of the house. I watched as the adults set up their bikes and their shoes and got in to their wetsuits. The energy was palpable. They would start and then I wouldn't see them for a couple hours. When they finished I figured they must have accomplished something big, as they were always super-sweaty with a huge grin on their faces. So, my parents were heroes. But I had really no idea what they did to get to the finish line.
As I grew older, I started running. Not for exercise, but to run away from my problems or to go on an adventure. It was just for fun. It became my way to process life. Some people see counselors. Some people go to church. I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. Literally. I injured myself and I hung up my running shoes. I ended up trying cycle after being convinced that I would NOT die if I took a cycle class. And then I was hooked. I ended up becoming a cycle instructor, and taught myself to ride a road bike.
So, what's left? I figured I knew how to swim, bike and run so maybe, just maybe I could do a triathlon. Why not?! I signed up for a triathlon that was about 6 months away so I could train for it and be totally ready. But you know life never works that way. I got a call from a friend who couldn't do a triathlon and it was three weeks away!! For whatever reason, I said yes. I spent the next three weeks training and practicing and having minor panic attacks. When I showed up on race day I could not begin to tell you how nervous I was.
Triathlon is a big, yet small world. Some people do it just to do it, some people do it to go pro, some people got suckered in to it(kind like me). But one thing is universal, on race day everyone is anxious. As I looked around, I could see all these nice bikes and fancy shoes and super light wetsuits. I felt like the only one with regular running shoes, a 1985 road bike and a wetsuit I borrowed from my dad. When the swim course was pointed out to me, I thought they couldn't be serious. Distance in a pool doesn't look the same in the ocean! When the gun went off to start I couldn't breathe. I spent the entire swim hyperventilating and trying to freestyle with my head up. This was not how it went down in a heated pool! When I got out of the water I was just happy to be alive. I got on my bike and headed out. At this point, I figured I was dead last and so I went as fast as I could to try to catch up. Off the bike I attempted to run. My legs felt like logs and to even try and move in a running motion was laugh-able. But, I was determined to finish. Crossing the finish line was one of the highlights of my life. I had proven I could do a triathlon. I hung around high on endorphins and soaking up the atmosphere. I checked the times when they came out because that's what everyone else seemed to want to do. I didn't really care. I finished and I wasn't dead. But when I checked my time, the craziest thing happened...I finished first in my age division!!!!  How was that possible? I cried. I called my parents. I paced around thinking they would take away my first place. But it was true, I won. To this day, that day goes down as one of the best days in my life.

With one triathlon down, I did do another and then another and another. I continued to do well and eventually got sponsored. I now finally consider myself a triathlete. My story serves to show that you should try new things even though new things can be scary. You never know what you might end up being good at, or loving, or both! Had I never stepped out of my comfort zone, there is something huge I would have been missing in my life. Something that has changed me for the better.

Can you hear me NOW?

One thing you will learn about me is that when I am passionate about something I want everyone to share that passion with me.  I LOVE to share stories, gear and war wounds with fellow athletes, foodies and bakers.  To this day, my dad makes this gesture with his hand to tell me to "quiet down" when I talk about something I love.  While the conversation might begin at a reasonable decible, the more I love it the more my voice raises.  Pretty soon, you can see people moving back or wincing as they try to not detroy my enthusiasm over the topic at hand by telling me to shut the heck up.
Triathlons excite me. Even more so, triathlon GEAR excited me. Don't even get me started on the new GPS watch, Zoots, or compression gear. Or maybe you should if you have a few hours or days to spare chatting about it! See, if something has helped me, inspired me, or made my life easier...I want to shout it from the rooftops.
I struggled with shin splints for years. Every time I ran, shin splints. I literally could not run. I tried new shoes, different running ground, stretches, special exercises, praying, whatever I could! And then I heard about compression socks. These hideous looking, extremely expensive socks that were supposed to help. So, what did I have to lose?  I spent almost $70 on a pair of socks!!! Are you kidding me?? But, you know what? They worked. They truly worked and I have been running nearly pain free for about a year. And this makes me extremely happy. And I want you to be happy too. So I share. And I share loudly.
Please forgive me, in advance, if I share things with you and do so at an unreasonable sound. Feel free to ask me to lower my voice. If I can help you improve your time, keep you healthy, or share a cool new device I will be a happy girl. And go ahead and make the gesture that states, "quiet down." I promise I won't be offended ;)