Tuesday, March 26, 2013

You know what you SHOULD do?

If you would listen to me long enough, I could solve all your problems, I am sure.  I have spent a large amount of my time on this earth messing up.  Because of this, I have learned.  A lot.  Like, a LOT.  And mostly the hard way.  So, if given the opportunity, I would like to share so that you don't have to make the same mistake.  It's like getting a free answer on a quiz.  Let me give you a "freebie."

Recently, I have been on a real journey.  With my recent cervical cancer, abdominal whatever-it-is(they still haven't diagnosed anything), and on-going sports injuries, I have been changing and growing day by day.  Every day has seemed like several days as I grow and learn more about myself.  I am currently gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free and sugar-free.  This is a trial and I MIGHT add some of these back on occasion, but right now I am really enoying it.  People ask what I eat.  I eat whole foods.  I eat food that fuels my body and doesn't destroy my cells and create an inflammation process in my body.  I eat fruits, veggies, meat, potatoes.  I eat wonderful, beautiful foods.  And my body thanks me.  Then I see people posting about all the Oreos and fast food that they can eat because they work out.  And that really gets to me.  I want to tell them what they should do.  They should be nice to their body, and fuel it right.  They should be eating well, especially if they are working out. 

I used to try a lot in relationships, even when they weren't right for me.  I would try and try and put in all this effort for a person who didn't care all that much.  I wanted to give people chances.  I ended up hurt.  I ended up wasting a lot of time, and energy.  So, when I see someone on that path, I want to tell them what they should do.  They should let go so they can find what's right.  They should love themselves, and trust themselves enough to let go, and move on.

I am a certified personal trainer.  I understand the Law of Thermodynamics and I understand biomechanics.  I know that it is as simple as calories in versus calories out.  It is not about a fad diet, a dangerous fast, or a pill.  It is a LAW.  If you are not losing weight, you are not burning more than you are taking in
.  Period.  People should know that.  I have injured myself enough that I know what has worked, what has not worked and what was worthless.  So, when people are talking about crazy workouts, weird diets and sports injuries I am compelled to tell them what they should do.

My latest journey has been my mind-body connection.  Getting my mind to work with my body to heal itself.  I believe this is my most powerful tool.  I have spent my life running around, pushing my limits, racing, and being chaotic.  I have been so motivated that I have injured not only my body, but my mind.  I have learned and programmed myself to not listen to the messages my body sends.  I feel no pain.  I must go harder.  I must not listen.  Don't stop.  And now, I am a new person.  This is the hardest thing I may have done to date.  I am working literally every second to get my mind right.  To love myself enough to listen.  To tune in.  To hear every message.  To love myself.  To believe in and trust who I am now.  Not yesterday, not tomorrow.  This very moment in time that I am receiving.  I am learning how to be a human BEING, not a human DOING.  I know that in order to get faster, I must learn to slow down.  I know that I have the answers, but I have to slow down and listen in order to receive them.  So, when I see someone being hard on themselves, or living for tomorrow, or getting so stressed over something so tiny, I want to tell them what they should try.  I want to say that you should look around, you should enjoy the day.  We are all suffering in some way.  But the wise ones learn to recognize the good, and turn away the bad.

Here's the thing.  I can only focus on my journey.  I can't spend any more time worrying about letting the world know what I think they should do.  Maybe I am right, but it's not for me to say.  Who am I to carry around the weight of everyone else's lives?  I love to help, and that's the only reason I share these things, but no one really needs unsolicited advice.  I can't tell anyone what they should do, unless they ask. You know that "freebie" on the test?  It might be free, but isn't it worth a lot more if you earned it yourself?     

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Good luck on your luck...

Good luck.  What bad luck.  Luck.  You have lucky genes.  You are so lucky.  Man, what bad luck you've been having.  I have grown to despise this word over the past couple years.  I don't believe in luck.  I believe that things are exactly the way they are supposed to be.  And even more than that, I believe you have a say in it.

Take for example, my recent diagnosis of cervical cancer.  I heard so often that I had bad luck.  Then, one week after my surgery, I wound up in the ER with gastritis.  After that, I got sick for two weeks.  Then, to add insult to injury, I injured my knee on a run.  And all of this can be chalked up to bad luck?  Not in my world.  The way I choose to see it, it's all happening for a reason.  Maybe I don't know exactly why, but I would go mad if I just blamed it on bad luck.  If it's just bad luck, then I wouldn't learn anything.  It wouldn't be an opportunity...it would just be an unfortunate experience.  Having cancer so early on taught me so much, I will never be able to blog it or explain it.  But, it changed my life for the better.  Because I chose to see it as an opportunity and not just bad luck.

Another example.  When I started doing triathlons, I did well from the very first one.  In fact, I won my age division on my first tri!  And I still hear, to this day, how lucky I am that I do well in these events.  As if I show up and race with no preparation, just luck.  I don't pack all my gear, I just fill my race bag with some luck and wind up on the podium.  No consideration to the blood, sweat and time I have spent training.  It's all luck, right?

Well, truth be told, I don't really buy in to luck, good or bad.  Luck does not define your life.  YOU define your life.  Luck will not dictate your fate in this world.  If you have bad things going on, learn from them.  Take a chance to look and see why these things might be present.  Read the writing on the wall, instead of turning a blind eye.  If you are doing well, soak it up.  It's not luck that got you there...it's YOU and your hard work that got you there.  Luck is fortune (whether bad or good) which occurs beyond one's control, without regard to one's will, intention, or desired result.  Well, I must beg to differ in context to having any luck in my life.  My life is under my control and my results are a product of hard work!  So, next time you hear, "Good luck!" consider responding with, "Luck will have no part in this."  And then go kick ass!