Recently, I was honored to be invited to be an ambassador for the Coeur Sports Team. As I have friended a lot of the girls on the team, I have been inspired by them. I admire their efforts, their outlook, their lifestyles. These girls are a force to be reckoned with and it is my honor to be amongst them. I am finding that I am learning more than ever what it is like to live with heart and courage. And so, it is with much heart and courage, that I speak out about weight. Gasp!
I stepped on the scale the other day. I weighed almost 130 pounds. I got off the scale and tried again. Those earrings were heavy, and we all know a watch can weigh a lot. And then there was the headband, which I'm sure when drenched in sweat could really pack on the pounds. But despite my best efforts, the scale still told the truth. And I was offended. I took a look in the mirror and realized that I no longer had my Ironman body. My Ironman body weighed 120-125. This body just wouldn't do. I resolved to change it. Immediately. Back to 125, STAT!
But being the introvert that I am, I also started questioning this idea. And over the next few days, the fact that I was so upset with this number on a scale started to weigh on me(pun intended). Why was this number so important? Why was I being so harsh? Why was I judging myself on a number that represents nothing to anyone? And more than that, do I think I am worth more to myself and others if I weigh a certain number?
I've tried to pride myself on the fact that I don't judge. I'm a strong believer that everyone has their own unique journey that I have no say in. It's not my business, and I'm not here to invest my energy in what other's feel is right for them. But why then, am I so open to judge myself? I would never go to the gym and see a girl working out and think, "Man, she is overweight." I would never watch a cyclist in my class and say, "She would be so much better if she could just tone up." And I would never, ever, get upset with another person for a number on a freaking scale! I've never once looked at someone and thought they were better or worse for what they weighed. But there I was the other day, self-talking myself in to less of a woman. It is so unacceptable. And it's negative, demeaning and wrong. And it's going to change.
I don't know why as women we feel the need to reach a certain number. I don't know why we feel better or worse if we can reach a goal of a number, on an inanimate object, that poses no actual measure of who you are. As if you at 120 are a great person, but at 130 you hold little value to the human race. It's actually really pathetic, sad, and petty. Ladies, we are more that that.
The truth is, we will not win or lose a race based on what we weigh. We will not be perceived as better or worse because of the size of our jeans. People will not like us because we are 10 or 20 pounds heavier or lighter than what we perceive as an ideal weight. We will not inspire others because of what the scale says. Our loved ones will not love us more or less based on our BMI. We will not touch the world more because we lost ten pounds. And at the end of this life, there is no Biggest Loser weigh-in that determines our fate. Can you imagine standing at the Gates of Heaven, and G-d saying, "You managed to reach your goal weight of 125. You may now enter heaven." The image makes me LOL.
Maybe I'll end up losing weight. Maybe I'll stay the same. But to focus on something so irrelevant really takes away the energy I could be using to actually make the world a better place. And I'm more than that. I think we all are. We spend infinite hours training our bodies, fueling ourselves in an effort to reach greatness, and training our minds to endure the pain that we put on our plates. But we are missing something. We are missing out on training our minds to love who we are. For exactly WHO we are. And WHO you are will never, ever, be determined by a number on a scale.
So let's ditch the scales and invest in something that really matters. YOU.
