You might be a triathlete...

Do you remember those "You Might Be A Redneck If..." calendars?  And every day there was a new one.  And some were funny because they were kind of true?  Well, after becoming a triathlete I found there are some things that hold true.  And when I first started racing tris I pretty much promised I would never live up to most of these.  But now, well...

You might be a triathlete if...

*You are concerned with the aerodynamics of everything.  Yes, even your water bottle.
*You wake up at 4 am.  On purpose.
*Your tri bike costs more than your car.
*In fact, you don't even own a car
*People always think you got in to a fight due to the constant marks on your face from your goggles.
*You have cut your hair and/or considered shaving it due to the chlorine damage
*People think you are wearing a laptop on your wrist(it's your GPS)
*You are so thankful that dark nail polish is on trend because all your toenails are black anyway
*You use words like "sponsor" and you don't have an alcohol problem
*All of your vacation days are spoken for due to your race schedule
*You have saved money just to enter an Ironman
*Your freezer has more icepacks than food
*You are on a first-name basis with your doctor.  He doesn't even see you, he just sends you straight to physical therapy.
*You have become angry when someone on your Stava App beats your PR
*Wearing knee high socks is cool.  Because, well, you need compression for recovery!
*Your shoes don't have laces.  They have Yanx or bungee cord
*You have more tan lines than anyone you know
*Your friends...wait, what friends?  It's tri season!
*Snot rockets are cool in your circles.
*You don't remember the last time you actually used a restroom indoors.  Side of the road is cool with me!
*You have passed up a conversation with a riding buddy because your heart rate was getting too low.
*The race director said the water was 64 and you thought, "Yes!  I don't even need a wetsuit now!"
*You passed on that boob job because it looks like a drag to tuck those things in to a wetsuit and/or tri kit.
*You have used the word "free speed" in reference to the letter "T" and the numbers "1 and 2"
*You spent $200 on a race kit, but wouldn't even consider a pair of jeans that $$$
*Speaking of jeans, you've yet to find a pair that fits over your enormous cyclist legs and small waist.
*Must.  Eat.  All.  The.  Time.  Like now.

PLEASE...  I know there are so many more.  So share!  Hit me up.  We can all use a good laugh!