Who stands next to you?

Me, me, me, me...sung in a melodic tone.  As if it were a song.  There's been a running joke between my dad and me.  "Hi, Dad.  How's it going?"  "Good.  But how are YOU?  Let's talk about YOU."  And then we do.  It's been that way for a long time.  I'm not saying it's a good thing.  But it's been that way for as long as I've known.  I don't really like to share the spotlight.  I like to talk about my accomplishments because I'm proud of them.  I work hard for them.  I toot my own horn.  I'm selfish.  I know it.  I'm working on it!!  Recently I have been really wanting to acknowledge others.  I want to hear about their journey.  It's not all about me.  Because with out my loved ones, I'm not ME.  And so, Jeff, this goes out to you.  I hope all of you have your own "Jeff" at home. 

Everyone thinks I "wear the pants" in our relationship. This is true.  And so not true.  The thing is, Jeff normally just doesn't care.  It's not worth a fight to argue over what's for dinner.  So if I decide I really want turkey he goes with it, because...whatever!  It's food.  As long as it is classified as food, Jeff is good.  When it is Sunday and we have the day off together and I ask him what we should do he will shrug.  Because the important part to him is not the activity, but that we are doing it together.  So, yes, I make a lot of the decisions that are simple, but the important things go to Jeff.  Because he is the real "mind" of our relationship.  And I know with 100% confidence, that he would never steer us wrong.  He's the driver.

Since opening my eyes to what's around me, I have really begun to appreciate people in my life.  And feel so grateful for my friends and family.  All that they are.  All that they do.  You know who you are.  Jeff is someone who tops my list.  Sometimes maybe you take things for granted, or you just don't truly understand until you see what's going on around you.  Like my triathlons.  Jeff has never once missed one.  Ever.  In fact, if he couldn't be there, I might not go!  It is THAT important.  He is my secret weapon.  But he is something that most never even know about.  He's so unassuming.  He's never wanted that attention.  He's glad to turn it over to me.

When I do well in a triathlon, most would assume it was MY hard work.  MY dedication to training, nutrition, MY mind/body connection.  ME, ME, ME.  But it's not.  Everything I do has something to do with that man standing next to me.  Everything.  He is my ticket.  He is involved in every aspect.  With out him, I would not be where I am.  Being such an independent person, I never thought I could speak of someone like this.  But, it's Jeff.  He does it with out even trying.  He does it just like he breathes.  And never once, never, has he asked for anything in return.  He has never tooted his own horn.  Never asked for a pat on the back, or recognition. 

We have become a well-oiled machine in regards to my triathlons.  Some might even find it impressive the system that has been worked out.  We joke that he is my race sherpa, but that would really be downplaying the whole thing.  I can pack my bag, but he knows everything that needs to go in it and can go through a mental check list quicker than your average bear.  I have to have a physical checklist, but Jeff can power through his stored mental check list with ease.  And as he goes through it, I am checking my bag...checking it twice.  And then once more in the morning.  Jeff carries his own backpack, containing things that don't go in transition, such as my wetsuit, goggles, compression socks for after the race, chapstick and my creatine.  He knows when to remind me to take my creatine, and reminds me of the time I need to put on my wetsuit.  He has checked and tuned up my bike the night before.  I know he looks long and hard for glass or other sharp objects in my tires.  He wakes up early to check my tire's air pressure and put the bike in the truck.  And I can sleep the night before knowing that I have the one person I trust the most right with me.

The morning of the race he knows all the questions to ask, and not ask.  He is always calm.  His energy sets the tone of the day.  I am always nervous and excited.  I always look to him, knowing that everything has been taken off my plate, except the actual race.  That's ALL I do.  I show up and I perform, I race.  Jeff does everything else.  He knows everything about me and what I need.  He knows every silly quirk and neurosis I have.  He knows what I have to have for dinner the night before.  He knows I need espresso in the morning.  He knows the time I take my creatine.  He knows when I finish I need chapstick before water.  He reminds me to sit down and ice my knee...like now.  He has it so coordinated that I just show up.  His job seems like the real challenge.  But he does it with ease, and grace.  Like a pro.  And why?  For what reason?  Because he loves me SO much that he is willing to set me up to succeed.  And then he stands there clapping as I collect my award.  When it is him who deserves recogntion.  But he does this for ME.  It's not because I make him.  It's not a delegation.  It's not about who "wears the pants."  You know what it's about?  It's about being in an awesome relationship, with my best friend, who is so dedicated to my happiness.  It's about being on the best team in the world.

So, I guess that's it.  The secret's out.  Cat's out of the bag.  I'm not really that awesome on my own.  It's not really all about ME, ME, ME.  Because everything I am, and all that I can do, is a direct result of the man that I stand next to.