Wow. I'm impressed. I didn't think you knew that many. Now go wash your mouth out. Okay, but seriously here's what's up...
I noticed a lump on my foot about three weeks ago. It doesn't really hurt, but I can feel the tendon rub on the area and it's slightly tender. Mostly, it's obnoxious and unsightly and lives on the doral(top) side of my foot, right above the arch. I iced it. Left it alone. Ignored it. Prayed about it. Ignored it more. Finally, I made a doctor's appointment and reluctantly went to see what my new issue might be. But, I was hopeful. I am a hopeful person.
After an X-Ray, the good news is that it's not fractured or structural, really. It IS, however, a cyst. A cyst!! Why?!!! So, with cysts, they can hang out for a while and not really change. Or, they can grow and become a problem and need to be surgically removed. Do you see where I am going with this? Ironman, anyone? If the cyst does not grow I might not need surgery. If it does, I will. And then I will need to recover. Again. From foot surgery. With less than six months to Ironman Arizona.
Insert cuss words and mini-meltdown here.......................................
I am on a journey to Ironman. I have been met with many challenges. Cervical cancer, gastritis, chondromalasia, and now this. In a very short amount of time. It's like being on a road that you truly believe in your heart of hearts that you need to be on. I must get to Ironman and this is my road. But I keep getting met with potholes, glass, obstacles. And after a while, you begin to question if this road is the right decision. I have doubts. I feel like maybe what I thought was my destiny is not actually my destiny. That maybe I need to reconsider what is important. Is Ironman so important that I am willing to completely break down for it? If these obstacles keep coming at me, is this a sign to back off? Is the universe trying to steer me in another direction? Am I being so stubborn to not even consider hanging up my Ironman hat? What are my true reasons for this journey? How important is it to continue this?
I cried to my mom. We talked it out. She has a beautiful way of just being a sounding board. It's like throwing a ball against a wall, and you get it back, but in a different way than you threw it. You begin with one thought, and then you hear it in a different way coming back to you. Okay. Maybe that makes no sense to you. But if you knew my mom, you would get it. The wheels in my mind began to turn. Easton mentioned in the form of running to his leash that we needed to hit the road to process this information.
We headed out and something funny happened. I ran. That alone is funny because I am still resting my knee and every time I try to run it hurts. The other funny thing is how SLOWLY I was running. It must have been comical to watch me just jogging along. Trotting. Kind of bouncing in a forward motion. But my knee didn't hurt too badly. And I felt hopeful. I felt hopeful again. I jogged for almost fifty minutes and all the negative(fine, most of the negative) wound up on the road. At the end of my "run" as if on cue, one of the songs that always resonates with me came on my iPod...
Another day has almost come and gone
I can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away
Somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost, but not the war
'Cause tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
SO BRING ON THE RAIN...
It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
And I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead (no)
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
No I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain
I might be getting hit hard. It's okay. I can take it. I am not one to back down from a challenge or give up on a dream. And, tomorrow IS another day. As long as I am breathing, I am LIVING, and I am not giving up on myself. Bring on the rain.
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