Learning to bend

I woke up at 6:00am this Sunday excited to get out on a run.  I had a plan and was anxious to get on the road.  You see, when I was younger , I just went out and ran and that was enough.  Now, I need a plan if I want to see any results.  Looking back, the only thing I miss about being younger was my ability to just run with no plan and not get injured.  But those days are over.  While my mind would love to run all day, my body has other ideas.  I have battled injuries for years due to running.  But if you know me, you know I would never consider giving it up.  I'm just learning to bend...

It's now 7:00 am and I am at Lake Murray to run according to plan.  I have my compression socks on, my GPS watch, and my iPod.  I am ready to do this!!  The plan is to warm up for about 5-10 minutes and then do 20 minutes at a 7:00 to 7:30/mile pace, and then cool down.  The plan wasn't a long run like I have been doing, but instead to build my confidence going in to my next triathlon with a short amount of tempo work.  Tunnel of Love by Bruce Springsteen starts to play and I am off on my warm up.  Here we go! 

Hello??  Legs?  Are you there?  Please move!!  No such luck.  I think I must have gained about 30 pounds, but just in my legs.  Over night.  Okay.  Maybe not.  But that's how it felt.  And this was just the warm up.  Oh no.  And, my GPS watch has decided to die meaning I won't know my pace.  When you start out a run like this a few things go through my mind.  It is basically a downward spiral.  First I think, "Oh no, am I going to be able to do this?"  Then I think, "If I do this, am I going to injure myself because my legs are already fatigued?"  Then, "If I injure myself, what if I can't ever race again?"  and finally, "What if I was never able to race again?"  I tend to be very dramatic for very small portions of time when it comes to triathlon and the thought of losing it.  It lasts about .5 seconds, but that's enough to create a mental block.  So where do I go from here?  I could just turn around and call it a day.  But as Katy Perry says, "This is the part of me, that you're never going to take away from me."  My legs are fatigued, but my soul is not broken, so we are still here to work.  I just need to learn to bend.

Like a tree must bend in order to not break, so must we, as athletes.  And I am learning to bend.  I couldn't change the fact that my legs were fatigued, but  I could bend.  I did a longer run, but at a slower, comfortable pace.  I kept my mind right and I never thought I had failed because I didn't stick to my plan.  You have to learn to bend.  Sometimes you show up and everything goes as planned.  You do your speedwork or your hill repeats or your swim drills.  But, life happens.  And when it does, I am glad I have learned to bend.  Because when you bend, you won't break.

Tri Rock 2012

Tri Rock is one of my favorite races.  There is so much energy at this race.  You show up early and you hear a band playing and you just think, "I am a triathlete, and this is just wonderful."  I have done this race before and I was really looking forward to meeting up with my friend Davina and sharing in this madness of triathlon.  This is really the one triathlon that I do for fun, and not for a place on the podium.  So I was super-pumped to just soak it all up.  No pressure, just fun.

I get nervous before I get in to the water.  I wonder about my goggles leaking or not having a good swim, or getting whacked in the head.  I even think totally unreasonable things like, "What if I don't make it through the swim?"  So...I talk.  I talk to anyone standing next to me.  I will talk about anything, just to silence these little voices in my head filling my mind with doubt.  There just can't be any room for that when you race.  That day was so hot and all I wanted to do was get in the water.  And by the time we entered the water, I just wanted to stay in it!  No such luck.  The gun went off and by the time I felt comfortable, I was out of the swim and on to the bike.  That's what happens when you are training at longer distances.  You swim 500 meters and it's just your warm-up.

The bike course was much better this year.  No train tracks.  If you remember(I do), I fell off my bike last year over these stupid train tracks and it really messed up my whole race.  This year was better, but still not my favorite course.  There was a lot of turning and maneuvering.  And it was hot!  Did I mention it was hot??  But the bike went well and then I was off to the run.  Oh...the run.  I was done by mile one.  It was probably over 95 degrees and I was just not able to get my breathing and heart rate under control.  There was actually a point where I thought maybe I would have a heart attack.  Luckily, that didn't happen.  But I guess there is your proof that I truly give it all!  I finished strong and I was proud of my race because I had given everything I could have given.

I ended up placing third in my age division which is great especially considering I had so much fun.  And the thing that really made me bubble over with excitement is that I qualified for the USA Triathlon Age Division National Championships!  ME!!!  Now, along with Ironman I will be competing with the best of the best next year on a national level.

It's races like these that I look back on when things get tough.  When I don't want to train I think back at what I have accomplished.  None of this just "happened."  I had to work hard for it.  I made sacrifices, but when I see these accomplishments, it is all worth it.  Every bead of sweat, every sore muscle, every early morning, every penny....I wouldn't trade any of it.

Limitless

I can run a 5k, because it exists and I know people who have done them.  I can run a 22k, because once I got lost and ended up running 13.1 miles.  So, I know I am capable of that.  My friend Kevin bailed on a triathlon and talked me in to doing it.  I showed up and won.  I am capable of that.  I am training for an Ironman and I know that I am capable of this because, well, I decided that I am.
Our lives are limitless, if we choose to view it that way.  If you can imagine it, is is possible.  The word impossible is really just a way of saying, "I am not strong enough."  I would like to think that I live a life with out limits.  Once I have conquered one thing, and the limit has been pushed, I change the limit.  Because what is life if it's stagnant?  What would happen if everything was mediocre?  What if you raced that same race, with the same effort and same result as the many before?  Would you settle for that?
As we go through our lives and we challenge ourselves, we test our limits.  We discover that it wasn't impossible.  Rather, it was just another one of life's little tests.  We overcome and we redefine "limit."  We find that we never really had a limit, because our lives are limitless.

What's yours?

Last Sunday, I headed off to Mission Trails for a run with one of my Hi-Tech Bikes teammates.  Of course, he is an awesome runner and I am well, less awesome(injury involved).  The first time we headed off on a run, I let him know that I might not be able to push it because of my strained tendon in my foot.  He was understanding and I ended up doing pretty well considering.  So, last Sunday I showed up and I let him know that I was still congested from a cold I had a week ago.  And he looks at me and asks in all honesty, "Is that your excuse today?"  A fire built up inside me and I had a great run, knowing that my excuse didn't matter.  At all. 
We all head to our runs, rides, swims, gym work outs with an excuse in mind.  Don't lie.  You have one.  Mine tend to vary.  I like to mix it up, I guess.  Right now I go from a hurt foot, to being fatigued, working too much, that time of the month, no energy, no time, I'll give more tomorrow.  My training suffers because of my excuses.  I am so glad that my teammate asked me this question.  "Is that your excuse today?"  Since he asked me that, I have shown up with no excuses.  Not one. 
So, I challenge you to admit your excuse.  Conquer it and kick it out of your life.  The more time and effort you spend allowing your excuse to win, the less time you will spend training.  What is your excuse today?  And to that I say, "What excuse?  I have no excuse!"

One of "those" people...

I am one of THOSE people.  One of the people who would love to be a professional student.  Most people think this is a strange thing, unless you are one of "those" people as well.  For me, school was so much fun.  Fun, as in, I loved to learn and then learn even more.  Once you learned one thing, you had so many other things to learn.  It's never-ending!  And you would learn whatever was being taught and then you would be tested.  And I loved to be tested.  Because I loved to get a perfect score.  And a perfect score was totally in reach!  You could put in the hours and effort studying to show up on test day and pass with flying colors.  When you received your test back with a big, fat "A+" the pride inside you would just fill you up to the brim.  You couldn't wait to get home to show your family so they could share in your pride.  But, maybe that's just because I am one of "those" people.
Fast forward to today, where I am forced to work for money and not a grade.  Not ideal, but it's the real world.  So, instead of challenging my mind, I challenge my body.  I now work for a win, a personal record, or some other type of physical challenge.  I am still one of "those" people, but now in the physical sense.  Works for me.  People tend to question me on a regular basis or express concern in what I do.  Some people don't understand why I would go to the lengths that I go to.  Well, just as I worked so hard for that high grade, I now work for that physical best.  And just like I ran home with my best grade in hand, I now run home with my medal in hand full of pride and joy, just waiting to share it with my family and friends.
For me, it's about hard work and the results that hard work gets you.  It's about pushing your boundaries and proving that the world is truly limitless if you choose to view it that way.  So, whether you are working out your body or your mind, do it the max.  Go for the glory.  Go for the A+, the win, the personal best.  And just like when you were in school, the result is up to you.  You get out of your life what you put in.  And, to that I say...I'll work for an A+ any day!! 

When opportunity knocks...

They say when one door closes, another one opens.  But sometimes we look so long at that closed door, that we fail to see the other door.  And that door happens to be an opportunity.  When I hurt my foot I was so bummed out.  For a week I just wondered what I could possibly do to replace my running.  Running has always been my release, my positive outlet for anxiety and stress.  Basically, running was my happiness.  And then it was gone.  Just like that. 
So for a week I looked back and I mourned.  I stared at the closed door.  Maybe I was hoping it might somehow open if I stared long enough.  Or maybe I was just so shocked that it could be gone just like that.  But at the end of that week I knew I had to start looking elsewhere.  If a door is closed, that just means somewhere there is a door just waiting to be opened.  I showed up at the gym today at noon to begin boxing again.  Boxing is my new door.  It's not a replacement, it's an opportunity to excel at something else.  And...it felt so good to box again! 

I hope that in your life you choose to let a shut door be just that, shut.  Let it be seen as an opportunity.  Let it be the beginning of a new chapter, not the end of one.  Don't stare so long at that shut door that you miss out on the beginning of something wonderful. 

It's not about the bike...

When I decided to do my first triathlon, I finally took my bike out of the garage and set out to learn to ride it...with out falling off, mind you.  It was a Dave Scott Centurion, circa 1989, with an aluminum frame and downtube shifters.  It was red, white and blue, with a small amount of yellow.  In it's time, it was one of the best bikes you could own.  But fast forward to the 2000s and it was way out dated.  But, it's what I had so I learned to ride it.  Since I was very uncomfortable reaching down to my frame to switch gears, I learned to ride on a hard gear, and that made me a very strong rider.  I never switched to a small gear...I just made it work.  The only other option was to reach down and chance a crash.  No thanks.  I won my first triathlon on that bike.  Yes, that 1989 outdated bike.  While everyone else had these fancy carbon bikes worth more than my life, I had this 1989 Centurion.  And I won.  And I continued to win.
Showing up to a transition area with the oldest bike was embarrassing.  The bikes I was racked next to were so light they literally blew in the wind.  They looked mean and fast...and expensive.  And I would get comments on my "vintage" bike or my "classic" Centurion.  No one took me seriously.  I was the girl with the old bike.  But soon I was the girl with the old bike...who would blow you away on the bike leg.  Eventually, I was good enough to be sponsored by a bike team and I am now the girl with the fast, mean, carbon, expensive bike.  But deep down I know my roots and I know that it's not about what you have.  It's what you DO with what you have.
In athletics, it is easy to look around and be intimidated by those around you with the fancy work out clothes, a $10,000 bike, a million pairs of shoes, gadgets and gizmos.  Keep in mind that at the end of the day, it's not what you ride, or what you wear on your feet or your body that will matter.  It is what you hold in your heart that will get you through.  Sure, compression helps, heart rate is helpful, a nice bike is nice, and a great pair of running shoes can power you up.  But, the one who wins the race will still always be the one who worked the hardest, and had the most heart.  It's what is in your heart.