Learning to bend

I woke up at 6:00am this Sunday excited to get out on a run.  I had a plan and was anxious to get on the road.  You see, when I was younger , I just went out and ran and that was enough.  Now, I need a plan if I want to see any results.  Looking back, the only thing I miss about being younger was my ability to just run with no plan and not get injured.  But those days are over.  While my mind would love to run all day, my body has other ideas.  I have battled injuries for years due to running.  But if you know me, you know I would never consider giving it up.  I'm just learning to bend...

It's now 7:00 am and I am at Lake Murray to run according to plan.  I have my compression socks on, my GPS watch, and my iPod.  I am ready to do this!!  The plan is to warm up for about 5-10 minutes and then do 20 minutes at a 7:00 to 7:30/mile pace, and then cool down.  The plan wasn't a long run like I have been doing, but instead to build my confidence going in to my next triathlon with a short amount of tempo work.  Tunnel of Love by Bruce Springsteen starts to play and I am off on my warm up.  Here we go! 

Hello??  Legs?  Are you there?  Please move!!  No such luck.  I think I must have gained about 30 pounds, but just in my legs.  Over night.  Okay.  Maybe not.  But that's how it felt.  And this was just the warm up.  Oh no.  And, my GPS watch has decided to die meaning I won't know my pace.  When you start out a run like this a few things go through my mind.  It is basically a downward spiral.  First I think, "Oh no, am I going to be able to do this?"  Then I think, "If I do this, am I going to injure myself because my legs are already fatigued?"  Then, "If I injure myself, what if I can't ever race again?"  and finally, "What if I was never able to race again?"  I tend to be very dramatic for very small portions of time when it comes to triathlon and the thought of losing it.  It lasts about .5 seconds, but that's enough to create a mental block.  So where do I go from here?  I could just turn around and call it a day.  But as Katy Perry says, "This is the part of me, that you're never going to take away from me."  My legs are fatigued, but my soul is not broken, so we are still here to work.  I just need to learn to bend.

Like a tree must bend in order to not break, so must we, as athletes.  And I am learning to bend.  I couldn't change the fact that my legs were fatigued, but  I could bend.  I did a longer run, but at a slower, comfortable pace.  I kept my mind right and I never thought I had failed because I didn't stick to my plan.  You have to learn to bend.  Sometimes you show up and everything goes as planned.  You do your speedwork or your hill repeats or your swim drills.  But, life happens.  And when it does, I am glad I have learned to bend.  Because when you bend, you won't break.